Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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