You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
