Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
