my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Randomize
