Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
