dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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