thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
