She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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