do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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