the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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