Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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