dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
