I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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