Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
