I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Mom said you looked used
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
