John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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