why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
