my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
