my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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