a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
