Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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