you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
