my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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