it wasn't lemon gatorade
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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