I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
