I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
