When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
