as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
