New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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