you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
