This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
