Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
