So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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