My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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