Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
