I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
