Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
