: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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