i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
