Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
