idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
