If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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