Are we in a gay sports bar?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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