You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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