barbara walters just said penis...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
