i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
