When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
