I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
