it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
