a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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