I wish I could teleport
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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