If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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